When It Ends...

What do you do when a relationship ends? Well I do you get up off your ass and live your life. No matter what happens you have to always put yourself first. You can't let one person be the center of your life, when you do that and they leave you, your world is devestated. I've known this feeling many times over and in the end I had to learn that the only person I had was me. I'm not saying they never loved or cared for me its just that after it was all said and done I was the one picking up the pieces and wiping my own tears. After this happened a few times I had to realize that life went on time did not wait for me. Time waits for no one. I shed tears and lost weight over men who in the end didn't mean that much to me. Because if they did I would probably still be with one of them right? I'm going to keep this one short and just say to everyone man or woman be there for yourself above all things, that way being alone won't be so damn hard.

Peace and Love

Carrie L.

They Were There The Whole Time

So I went on Facebook today to ask my friends and readers to give me a topic that I could use for my post today. And I decided to go with one of my friend's from college suggestion. He said write about when the right person for you has been in front of your face the whole time and you're to blind to see it. For many people they can never seem to see what they already have while looking for something. If you have a friend that is really close to you of the opposite sex and you pretty much tell them everything about what goes on in your life then nine times out of ten you may realize that that person is the person you should have been with the entire time. I went to see this movie called Valentine's Day last week staring Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner, Jessica Alba, Patrick Dempsy and George Lopez. In the movie Ashton Kutcher's character is the owner of a flower shop and of course Valentine's Day is one of his busiest days of the year. But before going to work he decided to propose to his girlfriend who is played by Jessica Alba. How he did it was very romantic he got down on one knee while she slept and when she woke up he was there holding a ring. He said a few words and asked her to marry him she said yes, go figure. With an unsure look on her face she said yes. So the plot thickens. His best friend, who is played by Jennifer Garner, is dating a married man but she doesn't know he's still married. He is played by Patrick Dempsy. He decides, that instead of spending Valentine's Day with her, he is going to spend it with his wife. Later on in the day Jessica Alba's character comes to Ashton's shop not wearing her engagement ring her reasoning being that she didn't want people at work to make a big deal out of it. Funny how he was more excited about being engaged than she was. Ironically Patrick Dempsy's character comes to the flower shop to buy flowers for both his wife and his girlfriend. And Ashton's character recognizes his name on his credit card. Jennifer's character decides to go and surprise her boyfriend who told her we went out of town to San Diego for a doctors conference. Her best friend who is Ashton tries to stop her at the airport where he realizes that he has some type of feelings for her. She goes only to find out he never went to San Diego. To make a long story short Jennifer Garner's character and Ashton Kutcher's character realized that they were always meant to be together even after they had been best friends for years. So I say take a good look at the people around you to ensure that you don't over look a treasure. You may be out here looking for something that's been there the whole time. So do you think that your best friend could be your lover?

Friends With Benefits Yay? Nay?

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and she said that she would have a friend with benefits. Her reasoning was no strings, she said it would be a perfect relationship. I told her I have had a relationship like that before and it did have it's perks. I feel as if, if I'm going to be in a relationship I want it to be monogomous, but friends with benefits is something that works too. You don't have to worry about answering to anyone or explaining yourself to anyone. But what happens when one party falls for the other. Most of the time when sex is involved us women tend to fall for that person we are physical with. I'm a woman of my word and when I say something is going to be a certain way I stick to it. I will be real with a man and tell what I want out of the relationship and what I expect and what I won't stand for. No matter what type of relationship I may be in I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS demand respect from my male counter part. Remember ladies you must respect yourself first if you want respect from other people. Whatever your preference, you have to ask for respect above all things. With all the perks it has, friends with benefits can get complicated. You can slip up and fall for the person. You can expect more from the person when they weren't expecting to be giving. so my question for you my loyal readers, would you have a friend with benefits?

Why DO Men Love Bitches?

Well I know I'm kind of late and everything but I am still reading a book and have been for a year (why a year I have no clue) called Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. The book goes on to explain why men would prefer to love a "so called" bitch rather than a "good girl". This concept I just didn't get when I first started reading the book. I understood how it was applied and I've even seen how it works. And it is right men would prefer to be with a bitch. Now Ms. Argov isn't talking about a bitch in the literal sense, but in the way a woman should act towards a relationship and how she should handle the relationship. Now after reading the first half of the book I decided to apply what I learned on a guy I was dating at the time. And to my surprise it worked! I was excited and amazed at how accurate her directions were. I hardly had to do any work. All I had to do was play my part. She said things like call him on your own time. Don't make yourself available every time he calls or wants to see you. Make sure that seeing him fits into your schedule and is convenient for you to be with him and things like that. And it got me thinking that it is a shame that us women have to play games with men to get them to behave and/or treat us right. Has truly come to treating men like children in order to get them to do right by us? I mean seriously why do we have to do that? I have two explanations. One: that men are a lot like children and the only way to keep them in check (like you do children)you have to have set of rules to keep them in line. Two: being that us women don't know any other way to be. Ms. Argov also says who the opposite of the BITCH/DREAM GIRL is, she's named the GOOD GIRL/DOORMAT. The good girl will do anything for her man or man she's dating. She will go out of her way to be with him or make him happy while she's not all that happy. For example let's say your man decides to go out with his boys to a bar, and he says he'll call you when leaves the bar. He decided wait and call you at 3 AM. You can do one of two things you can politely tell him that its too late for him to come over your house or for you to come to his, and tell him that you will see him at a later time. Or you can hop out of bed where you were fast asleep and let him come over or you hop in your car to go see him. Now which one would you do? Me naturally if I'm fast asleep I might not answer my phone even if I hear it. And I damn sure ain't getting out of the bed to go anywhere. I hardly like getting out of bed to pee let alone driving somewhere. And as for someone coming to my house at 3 AM is out of the questions and not going to happen. And that's just one of my rules don't treat me like a booty call if you don't want me to treat you like a piggy bank. I'm not at any level a gold digger, I just rather be treated with respect and in doing so you will get my respect in return. So my question to you is would you rather be BITCH or a GOOD GIRL?

Am I Really Anti-Valentine's Day?

Hello to my of my readers. Sorry I haven't been on here in so long unfortunately my computer is broken and I am in the process of getting it fixed. Well I decided to dedicate this posting to all those who have either lost love or are tired of losing it. I decided that this year I would not spend Valentine's Day alone. In doing so I went out of town with someone I care deeply for. But for so many years I have always spent Valentine's Day alone. Either at the time I was not seeing anyone to spend it with or a boyfriend or the person I was dating conveniently became unavailable, stood me up or broke up with me in time for Valentine's Day. Sucks right? In my eyes it doesn't because it has been my ritual that I spend it with my other single friends going out to dinner or for drinks. But I have decided that I want to change this tradition do something different. But I'm not sure how to just be in a relationship on that day or weekend. I have tried to make it work or last in relationships. Either I have been the one who was dumped or I was the one doing the dumping. It's a shame really that I couldn't stay in a relationship. I don't think I have met someone yet that I feel has rally got me. I've been with men who have loved me or even been in love with me (which are two very different things by the way), but I have not felt the same. There always ended up being some type conflict when we would finally get settled in to the relationship. Either his jealous/insecure side would finally show up or mine would. And many times I would find myself at a crossroads where after a while I wouldn't know if I wanted to remain in the relationship. See I am the type who gets tired of the same old thing. I'm the type that you have to keep things new and exciting to keep my attention. And at times I hate that I am like this, because in all honesty I have ruined many relationships because of it. I ask myself sometimes what would have happened if I had just stuck it out in my past relationships. So tell me readers am I anti-valentine's day or am I anti-relationship? Or am I just afraid of something?