Am I Really Anti-Valentine's Day?

Hello to my of my readers. Sorry I haven't been on here in so long unfortunately my computer is broken and I am in the process of getting it fixed. Well I decided to dedicate this posting to all those who have either lost love or are tired of losing it. I decided that this year I would not spend Valentine's Day alone. In doing so I went out of town with someone I care deeply for. But for so many years I have always spent Valentine's Day alone. Either at the time I was not seeing anyone to spend it with or a boyfriend or the person I was dating conveniently became unavailable, stood me up or broke up with me in time for Valentine's Day. Sucks right? In my eyes it doesn't because it has been my ritual that I spend it with my other single friends going out to dinner or for drinks. But I have decided that I want to change this tradition do something different. But I'm not sure how to just be in a relationship on that day or weekend. I have tried to make it work or last in relationships. Either I have been the one who was dumped or I was the one doing the dumping. It's a shame really that I couldn't stay in a relationship. I don't think I have met someone yet that I feel has rally got me. I've been with men who have loved me or even been in love with me (which are two very different things by the way), but I have not felt the same. There always ended up being some type conflict when we would finally get settled in to the relationship. Either his jealous/insecure side would finally show up or mine would. And many times I would find myself at a crossroads where after a while I wouldn't know if I wanted to remain in the relationship. See I am the type who gets tired of the same old thing. I'm the type that you have to keep things new and exciting to keep my attention. And at times I hate that I am like this, because in all honesty I have ruined many relationships because of it. I ask myself sometimes what would have happened if I had just stuck it out in my past relationships. So tell me readers am I anti-valentine's day or am I anti-relationship? Or am I just afraid of something?